2/5/2018 0 Comments Moving Forward2018 has just begun, but it’s already been a very busy time for my family. My oldest son married his high-school sweetheart in a festive celebration at her church. They moved in together and bought a dog. Most excitingly, they hope to start their family right away. I could be a grandma before I turn 51! About the time they got back from their honeymoon, the notifications from the Seniors 2018 twitter feed started to step up. The school is very good at keeping all the parents up to date on the happenings leading up to this big event, high school graduation, in the lives of our kiddos. Unfortunately, each ding on my phone reminds me that my baby will be graduating soon. The constant noise of four kids is softening to a deafening murmur, am I really ready for an empty nest? Mom was keeping it together pretty well even with the momentous occasions taking place in two of her kid’s life, and then I received the news that my middle son would be deploying to Okinawa for half of the semester. Of course, I found this out after I had already paid the tuition for this term. He assures me that he can complete the required work online and still maintain his grades and complete this school year without issue; we shall see. A constant I have come to rely on over the past three years, is my friend group. Several lovely ladies that I see on an almost daily basis, until recently. Our closeness hasn’t wavered, but our time together has. The bible study that held us together has dissolved from lack of interest. These things happen. Now, we schedule one get together monthly and communicate primarily by text. They are still my tribe, but the pow-wows are less frequent than I would like! Suddenly, I have more time than I know how to handle. This is uncharted and scary territory for me. The path ahead is full of new possibilities and potential but travels well outside my comfort zone. I like order. I like consistent schedules. I like the illusion of security that routines imply. But that is not the plan God has for me, and it never has been. The changes that are taking place in my life are ongoing and out of my control. And that’s okay. My husband decided to take off the week before the wedding to help with any unforeseen items that might arise. I was a little apprehensive about the excess time we would be spending together. There have been patches during our marriage when we got on each other’s nerves. That wasn’t the case this time. We were able to spend unrushed hours together talking and working on the never-ending to-do list side by side. Whatever misgivings I had about our time together after the kids leave home have been erased. For me, it was a time to regain a sense of connection to my husband that years of school events, various sports’ practices, scout meetings, and band concerts had crowded out. Our lives are changing, but that isn’t a bad thing. My needy impulses to be around my friends all the time have quelled. I have a more mature outlook on our relationships. We still love and support one another, but the constant demand for attention and affirmation from relationships has diminished. Our time together is more meaningful because of its deliberate nature. And my time away from them is slowly being filled with opportunities to serve God in new ways. Even the cessation of my bible study has been a good thing. It’s hard when your priority is another’s second choice. My need to delve into the meat of scripture wasn’t always shared. The last book the group chose wasn’t even a Christian text, it was a self-help book that was hard to explore. I need time in the word, not words about past times; I’ve dealt with those demons. A tepid approach to Bible study isn’t what God really wants for us. Lots of big changes in a short span of time would have sent me over the edge not too long ago, but the excitement and expectation that I feel with these changes is almost palatable. Movement is life, without constant shifts in the flow of our life, stagnation sets in and growth doesn’t happen in standing water. I guess I sang “Oceans” from Hillsong United one too many times and God took me up on it. I started this year with a focus on discernment. I was determined to follow the path He had laid out for me and not get tripped up on my own plans. The blessing at the beginning of this year have been the ability to see that although things have changed, He has it all under control. The support system that has developed out of my Bible study group and the strength of my marriage will help me to move forward into the unknown tomorrows. God’s plans are just a step away, I’m praying that all in my circle of influence will advance into the deeper waters he is calling us towards. Discernment for myself only isn’t enough. The excitement of boldly walking out His will is for all who care to dare.
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AuthorI am a Christian, a wife, a mom, and a part-time basket case who wants to be a full time writer.
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